Updated: Aug 24, 2020
I bet you have questioned this before… why certain people, with possibly far lower IQ/EQ, education levels etc., achieve stupidly great things, while some great minds stay on a standard mediocre path. And no matter how badly they want to get somewhere further than that, there is constantly something mysteriously getting in their way.
You may argue that self-confidence, good network, excellent communication skills or even luck is what taking those people to the tops? Agreed - it certainly helps. These are the tools in a toolbox, more of external factors, while the mysterious stoppers usually live on a deeper internal level.
In fact, no matter how great the tools are, chances are – they won’t be used effectively if the internal framework is not aligned. In fact, having the right internal framework can be just enough to get you where you want to be. The tools are secondary.
By internal framework I mean all the buzz that’s going on in our heads. The way we see the world, what we believe in, core values, perception of ourselves – all this builds a picture which we project to the outside world through our behaviours, actions, and eventually lifestyle, achievements, etc..
This internal system is built throughout the course of life, until this point in time. All the events, experiences, thoughts and emotions, environment and people – all this develop unique lenses through which we look at the world, and through which we see ourselves.
These lenses have all sorts of shades, and some of them create strong push towards reaching goals regardless of any obstacles, while others can become real stoppers.
The good news is that you can fine tune these lenses in the way that serves you in a much better way. What you need is a level of strong desire and commitment . Here are four main dilutions the lenses create:
Alignment to core values
Before embarking on the journey of achieving a goal, you need to be very clear on WHY you want it and whether this 'WHY' is in line with your core values.
We often get over-occupied with the day-to-day routine and forget to step back and check whether the 'why' is still valid. Whether what we say we desire is what we truly, whole-heartedly want at this point in time.
It may appear that the goal is actually out-of-date (is it really still important for you to get a job at X company? Maybe Y is now way better and more suitable?). Or based on a socially accepted 'norms'? Or maybe it's not bold enough - restrained by subconscious fears and limiting beliefs (which I talk about further).
The right direction from the start will not only save the precious time and eschew heaps of frustration. It will also help you stay on the right path and stick to your commitments.
'I cannot do it'
'I don't have enough time/money/willpower/skills'
'My other commitments will not let me do it'
and so on and so on...
These are stories we tell ourselves and we believe in. These are stories we came up with at some point in the past and decided it was the truth.
But it wasn’t always the same stories. Remember yourself as a child? Did you think the same way? Chances are, none of it crossed your mind at the time when you were climbing that tree or playing superheroes.
So what made you start believing you have those limitations? Just imagine what it would be like if you believed the complete opposite!
If you think in the same way without analysing how your thinking impacts your daily actions, chances are, it's the reason for stagnation. Consciously or intuitively, we tend to avoid doing certain things which we are fearful of.
Comfort is a great place to be, but what if the place you want to get to is somewhere outside this comfort? A simple acknowledgement and a bit of analysis of what you avoid doing and why, can become a breakthrough towards your goal.
When we commit to making a change and decide to do something completely different, it is fair to let the mind wander in search for possible solutions and options.
Unlike with habits and routines, there is no familiar path for the mind to follow, and it reaches out to all directions in search of the suitable opportunity (which is infinite!). It's like you google search in your mind and it gives you 50 pages of results.
No wonder it becomes overwhelming trying to catch something sound in this chaos of thoughts. This chaos needs a good organising exercise - in a way that would not restrict the free flow of ideas and would still steer you to the right direction.
These are some of a few examples of what can become internal barriers. Everyone is unique though, and needs a unique approach to making adjustments to the internal framework.
The work is not always easy but most of the time enthusing and always.. ALWAYS pays off!